Another venting session...

I feel better after I get them out, even if it's on a blog. I think I type things down better then I can talk. So here it goes....
As I was volunteering at the school today there was another mom that told me she had put a book together of drawings from all the kids to surprise the teacher. This mom goes in almost every day of the week to help (her husbands home in the mornings). She has gotten to know the teacher really well. After she left I felt bad, like I don't do enough.
I would love to help out more but I can't find babysitters for my kids each day or if I did I'm sure my friends would be sick of helping me. Plus it seems like there's not enough time for everything I want to do.
Another Mom I know only has one kid in grade school. Her daughter gets a lot of attention (of course) so I worry that since we have five we can't give adequate time to each child.
Then I feel I need to get things figured out for the summer (activities etc. for the kids to do so they won't get bored) I haven't found the time. Or when I have the time I just want to sit and relax a bit. (or type out my thoughts on blogger)
Then today I have a love/hate relationship with my sewing machine. I broke two needles trying to sew the kids pants I cut into shorts.
Do you ever feel like your not good enough?
There are days my kids play more than an hour of games because I'm doing other things and then I feel awful and they are going to turn into couch potatoes.
Other days I feel like I am constantly telling the kids to get their chores and homework done and I'm sure they don't like a nagging mother.
My back hurts, I'm tired (last night was awful) and I've had way to many cookies today.
Okay I'm done...it feels good letting my thoughts out. Like I can move on and try to do better.

Nursery here I come!

Can't believe my baby is already 18 months. Can you say NURSERY!!!! This coming Sunday will be very exciting for both of us ha ha. We love you baby BriLynn.

New goal

So my new years goals have been going great. I continue to floss every day and I'm actually enjoying it. (my dentist will be so proud) As for adding the recipes into the program, things were great till I found a years worth of meal plans that had recipes attached. I figure if I enter a couple a day that will be good. With those progressing I think it's time to set a new goal.
I have never liked the way my body has looked. I have always had that bad habit of comparing myself to the models on magazines. It has of course gotten worse as I have had kids. As I talk to my twin sister about this issue she gets mad at me. She says I stole all her metabolism in the womb. While I am grateful that I have lost the weight after my babies I still have issues.
I feel so ungrateful when I think how unhappy I am with my body. It's really amazing what our bodies can do. I have come to the conclusion that my problem is that I don't take care of this "temple" I've been blessed with. I go walking three days a week in the morning but that's not enough. When I was dancing in college I felt great and I think it was because I was working hard.
So I don't set myself up for disappointment I am going to start out small and work up. My first goal is to stretch morning and night. Even if it just a few minutes I know I will feel better.
I am thankful that I have a body that is healthy and can carry children. I need to start respecting it. Hopefully as I accomplish this goal I'll feel more comfortable in a swimming suit too...but I'm not holding my breath for that one.

Randomness

Can you say static?


Enjoying the sunny weather.



We can understand more of what BriLynn is saying which is really fun. The not so fun part is that she is getting more independent which means she has started to throw tantrums. Come the 25th of this month she will be going to Nursery WOO HOO. Man I can't believe my baby is 18 months old. Whats strange is that I would usually be five months pregnant by now.

More Strange happenings

What do you do when your bored??? Why you climb in a cupboard silly!









If anyone knows how small my cupboards are, it's pretty impressive for Danika to get in and turn around.



Come Friday they always ask if they can sleep in each others rooms so they usually end up on the floor. Take a look at Luke, gee that looks comfy.

10 years and Mothers Day

First of all...Happy Mothers Day to all you women out there. I say women and not just mothers because we are ALL mothers. I think of women who want to be and due to certain circumstance's can't. Or women who are not married yet. My sisters are not married and are a big help to me, I consider them Mothers. Today has been great! (I don't believe there are any bad Mothers Days) I was spoiled with gifts. I hope you all had a great day too.

Today is extra special to me because it also marks 10 years Kevin and I have been married. It has gone by fast, you blink and you have five kids together. I love him more than the day we were sealed. I remember sitting in the sealing room and my sisters saying "you know you still have time to back out". They were joking but I can't imagine where I would be without him. I know that we will be together for Eternity! (if he can put up with me for that long he he) Last night we went to the Jazz playoff game, while the game wasn't the greatest it brought back some fun memories. Kevin proposed at Temple Square and then we went to a Jazz game. I was asking Kevin if he remembered anything about the game the night he proposed (neither of us did, we were of course clouded by love). So for fun I looked it up, it was December 29th 1999. They played the Vancouver Grizzlies and won 101 to 90 just so you know :) I love him with all my heart, he is my knight in shining armor.
Man don't we look young!

Sad

Today I learned that my cousin lost her husband in a car accident. I feel for her as she has four kids to take care of. I know she will have the love and support of her family but nothing can take his place. It got me thinking about if something like that were to happen in our family, would we be prepared?
When we had Danika we talked about life insurance, it was pricey and we were still in school. I believe it wasn't until Andrew joined our family that we actually got it. My uncle is a lawyer so I called to get some info on Wills. A trust would be around five hundred dollars and that was money we didn't have then. We filled out the paper work we got and it has sat in our safe for probably six years. I need to research what I need to do to get it legal. It scares me to think what could happen if one of us were to pass away. I guess the whole "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear" fits perfectly. We definitely need to be more prepared with this.