Pressure

I have been reading a book called Side by Side by Jeanette Goates Smith. It's about supporting a spouse in church service. It has helped me when at times I feel like falling apart. I wanted to write a few quotes/stories that have stood out to me.

Revel your limitations: Do you find that whenever you have to tell someone "no" you generally include an explanation for your answer?  A devoted Church servant need not manufacture an excuse for saying no. Saints who are anxiously engaged in a good cause always have something else beckoning. 

Tolerance for trials: Believing, behaving, and serving Saints want desperately to obey Heavenly Father and, in doing so, serve their fellowman.  I see this in Kevin and it makes me even more proud to be his wife. But...those with high tolerance for trials are willing to give and give and give until they have nothing left to give. Such a sacrifice is not helpful to the kingdom. It is okay to give and give but stop short of giving till you have nothing left to give. Save some energy. This way you will remain useful and won't become a service project yourself. Even those who rate the highest on a "tolerance for trials" scale eventually reach their limit. Hence why we should serve within our means.

The oil in your lamp: I love this quote from Neal A. Maxwell. "When, for the moment , we ourselves are not being stretched on a particular cross, we ought to be at the foot of someone else's."  Deep huh? We all crave opportunities to serve, but we can't give when we are stretched on our own crosses.

Pressure to set an example: Church leaders and their families are often watched very carefully. She relates a story about pressure she felt to set a good example while her husband was bishop.  Her son who was deacon-aged, showed up at church without any shoes. The church was twenty minutes away from home and she would miss sacrament if she drove home to get them. She cringed as she thought of what others reactions would be that the bishop's son attended church without any shoes. How unorganized the bishops wife must be, how scatterbrained! She probably slept to late. Hasn't she heard the song "Saturday is a special day, it's the day we get ready for Sunday..."? She should have had her children's clothes all set out the night before. She decided to attend Sacrament.
One of the most stressful requirements of supporting a spouse in leadership position is dealing with the knowledge that your family will be subjected to a bit of scrutiny. When Kevin was put in as Bishop a member of the High Council told him to prepare his wife as she would loose friends. I thought this was so sad. I don't believe I have lost any friends but I do feel weighed down with the responsibility of setting a good example. It's not me thought that I worry most about. In his first year of being the bishop Kevin told me that he couldn't count how many times he has been yelled at. It saddens me to think that there are those who would be mean to those trying to serve the Lord. He's a regular guy with extra burden. It makes me want to tell those who have yelled at him to "put yourselves in his shoes and see how you do." It also reminds me of a comment made at the "Mom's and Muffin's" that the PTA put on recently. A mom complained that there wasn't any milk with the muffins. We didn't advertise there would be. I want to say...if you have a problem with the way things are run, then try running it yourself. Sorry, venting moment. When we say anything bad about the leaders of the church, weather true or false, we tend to impair their influence and their usefulness and are thus working against the Lord and his cause.
I have learned to not sweat the small stuff. I'm trying to do my best each day and there are times I falter but, I'm human,  doing the best I can is all He asks.