I have had a hard time this Christmas season. It's nothing awful, just blah feelings. I love the spirit of Christmas and the reason for the season. I just worry about my kids.
Danika found out a few months ago about Santa. She kept it from the other ones and has been getting them excited. I love it because she is more thankful for the things she received this year knowing where they came from.
Maybe our first problem was that we didn't have the kids write a letter to Santa. This may have avoided some of our issues. I just didn't want them to think that whatever they write down they would get. We had asked them which I figured would be the same but you know how kids change their minds weekly if not daily. Plus some of the things they asked for were not even an option. Andrew told us he wanted an IPhone. "Yeah right...Mom and Dad have a pay as you go phone and your seven!"
So our issue is... that a couple of our kids are complaining that they wanted what another sibling got. I think it is so ungrateful. I had to sit and remind Andrew about the story of the Christmas Orange. Some kids get nothing for Christmas and here he is with so much and he complains. After that I didn't hear anything more about it.
I worry that they feel entitled instead of grateful. It's calmed down a lot but yesterday we had crying over gifts. I told Kevin I was ready to forgo presents all together next year. Really...who's birthday are we celebrating? Who is the one getting the gifts? I'm sure we won't but I'm tempted. I want them to give more than receive. To be grateful.
I know we will try some different things next year but if you have any thoughts or ideas on how to help children feel grateful instead of entitled, I would love to hear them. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Thanks for reading my babbling.
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8 comments:
My sister in law felt the same way so Christmas morning when the kids ran down stairs there was nothing under the tree. They took the kids to do like 4 service projects and reminded them of why we celebrate Christmas and then when they got home they told them to pack and went on a little family trip and just had fun together. No gifts. There kids were a little older though but it had a very strong effect on all of them. I felt a little bit like you explained this year too. I do feel like TYV commercials make kids feel like they are entitled. Anyway, at least you recognize a problem and will search for a solution. Sorry for the random, rambling! Amy (Karins friend)
I saw the same kind of post on my cousin's blog and she got this from someone else. They give their kids three gifts---
Wonder: wrapped in Gold (this is something really exciting or that they really want)
Usefulness: wrapped in Green like the earth (maybe clothing or other items they need)
Meaning or Love: wrapped in Red. I thought about doing something similar when my kids get older so they know what to expect every year... They can pick one big thing they really want and then get some regular stuff like clothes and books or something... just some ideas :). You did so great at singing time today!!!!
All very good ideas! Luckily this year wasn't too bad for us. I think the kids got just the right amount so they were grateful but not too spoiled and ungrateful. We do the three gifts (Not the three gifts mentioned here, just three in general) and a santa. Most years we haven't stayed with ONLY the three. This year we did and I will be sure to stick too it again. However, you can be sure that if I ever have a year of serious ingratitude, the next year will be a day of service!!! Good luck!!
That's tough. Levi found out about Santa a few months ago, too, and his first comment was, "Wow! You guys spend a lot of money on Christmas!" He has been so grateful for everything he got.
I feel your pain with the present situation. We are going to do somethings different next year. Instead of drawing names and buying some random present, we are going to make the presents. It will make the kids put more thought into their gifts. We're also going to do the 12 days of Christmas for a family, and rather than doing neighbor gifts, we're going to take them to people who might not get any. (Widows, nursing home residents, the recently-divorced guy around the corner, some inmates at the county jail, etc...)
Well, good luck, and if you come up with any great ideas on helping this problem, let me know.
Oh, the past few years we've done a 12 days of Christmas countdown for ourselves. We put 12 "presents" under the Christmas tree, and each one had a Scripture in it naming a gift that Christ gave us. All of the gifts had either a snack and/or an activity to go along with the scripture. It's a lot of fun and has been a good way for us to focus on the real meaning of Christmas and not the fluff.
Since my husband has been in school for the last 4 years, money has been tight, so my kids don't get a lot. (For Christmas or birthdays or anything really) And because of that we have been so blessed!! They are so thankful for just a little. I have a friend who uses this "formula" for Christmas: something you want, something you need, something homemade, and something to read... I really like this and think it's great.
Now that he's graduated and has a new job with a bit more money, we sat down as a family and decided we didn't want to change things... We got a nice Christmas for our family and used our excess to help buy Christmas for others.... my children LOVED choosing gifts for other children and getting to help someone in need... I think service and giving should be the focus.
I agree with you about kids feeling entitled. We have noticed a big difference ever since we have started doing small secret Santa's. The kids understand that by purchasing gifts for other children we will have less money to spend on gifts for them and they get fewer presents. I am a bigger fan of family gifts, of things that we can do together rather than just individual ones.
I think it's a pretty typical problem - especially these days when we have so much. It's so hard when they're young, but I think if we keep teaching them correct principles they'll learn. I know I wasn't always a grateful kid :)
A ward in our stake puts a Christmas tree up in the church foyer each year for a sub for santa. Since we live so close to an Army base it goes to help kids who are visiting their parents in the hospital for Christmas - I think it's the Wounded Warrior program. Anyway, we have the kids choose a tag from the tree - usually a child close to their age and then we take them shopping for the presents. Simon had a hard time understanding that we weren't there for him - which turned into a screaming nightmare, but he's still young. Andrew did really well and loved picking out the presents. We let the kids wrap the toys and then they put them under the tree at church. It's something small, but I think it will be something they look forward to each year.
One other thing that's helped is that when the kids write their letter to Santa we explain that Santa won't be bringing everything on their list. We emphasize that Santa gets to choose a couple of things from the list and they've been ok with that.
Hope that helps!
Christmas of 2010 (since it's the new year now) I kept feeling that we were not focusing on what was important. We did teach Cody about service and he loved helping people. But I still wasn't satisfied. For Christmas my mom gave me a book. A Christ Centered Christmas by Emily Freeeman. I LOVE IT! I read it after Christmas and I will be using for Christmas 2011. It has great ideas in there.
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