Sorry to pour things out but I always feel so much better when I vent. I had a hard time when Kevin was put in the Bishopric. Not only was I sitting alone with four kids in Sacrament. Tuesdays (which I was used to being alone since he was the YM pres. before) he's gone all night. Sometimes he doesn't get home till 11:00. He also has other meetings a couple Thursdays a month. Sundays he leaves at 7 in the morning and then gets home around 5:30. So as if he isn't gone enough, today (a Saturday), he was called by the Bishop to go help someone. I love that my husband is a worthy Priesthood holder, he is such a good example to me. He never complains about the jobs he has to do. I on the other hand need to improve. I've been reading the letters Joseph wrote to Emma in the Joseph Smith manual. When I start thinking I'm going to break, I think of her. Her husband was put in Jail. Kevin at least comes home every night. There were nights, she didn't know if he would ever come home. I feel bad because I take my frustration with it out on the kids and they don't deserve it. They are missing their Dad just as much as I'm missing him. I'll keep trying harder; especially to control my emotions, since my hormones are out of control, but it sure would help to have Emma's strength.
7 comments:
A Master's Program and a full time job isn't a whole lot better - I feel your pain. Emma's strength would be nice sometimes.
But hey, if you ever need someone to just hang out or visit with, you know where to find me. :) I know I can't replace Kevin, but we could still have a good time.
Emma is a great ROLE MODEL!! I would love her strength too!!
But we are having another girls night out tonight at 9.. I would love it if you came..
Sandra, I can understand your frustration. It's like on one hand you want to complain and then on the other you remember he is serving the Lord and you feel guilty for feeling that way. Jez was the Exec. Secretary for 6 years in that stake. It was the same hours... Sundays (all day), Tuesday & Thursday nights, and every time someone moved in or out... It is tough.
I think of Emma all the time. I love the movie at the Legacy theater. I cry every time at the end where he rides off for the last time with her watching.
I look up to you so much. You have a lot more of Emma's qualities than you give yourself credit for. You are a mom of 5!! I know that is no small task.
I just about went insane today myself. I also take out my frustrations on the kids. I don't know if you've read it but I have been reading a book that is helping me. It is "Wake Up to a Happier Life" by Amanda Dickson. It is just what I needed. :)
Hang in there. You are an amazing wife and mother!
Sweet Sandra,
Your frustrations are very valid! I have thought about you on occasion and wondered how you handle having Kevin gone so much. Emma was only as strong as she was because of the trials of her life that had refined her, as well as the special strength that the Lord gave her in her times of heartache. She is a supreme example to try to emmulate. My guess is that you will look back one day and be grateful for your refining moments. Until then, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!!
I just wanted to clarify about the book... it's not that I am unhappy with my life... just that it helps me to put the daily challenges with the kids into better perspective. It helps me to hang in there when I am tempted to lock myself in my bedroom and just cry. :)
I hear ya. Ben was always gone doing elders quorm stuff when he was the pres. Then he got released and things were good. He got put in as the finace (sp) clerk so he wasn't home as much after church. But still not bad. well now he started a new internship that is after work, and monday through thrusday he is gone from 730 am to 9 pm. and from 8 am to noon on saturdays. It's crazy how the kids start to act out after 5 pm and I start to loose my patients more after 6 pm when he is usually there. So now we do things later at night so they see him more. They take naps during the day but it still isn't that healthy for them to stay up so late. but to see their dad they have to. So I hear you, but it will only be until june. So I can make it right?! :]
I hear ya. Ben was always gone doing elders quorm stuff when he was the pres. Then he got released and things were good. He got put in as the finace (sp) clerk so he wasn't home as much after church. But still not bad. well now he started a new internship that is after work, and monday through thrusday he is gone from 730 am to 9 pm. and from 8 am to noon on saturdays. It's crazy how the kids start to act out after 5 pm and I start to loose my patients more after 6 pm when he is usually there. So now we do things later at night so they see him more. They take naps during the day but it still isn't that healthy for them to stay up so late. but to see their dad they have to. So I hear you, but it will only be until june. So I can make it right?! :]
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