Why do we as women (sorry I shouldn't generalize it) why do I have a hard time seeing others succeed. I'm sure it's a "Natural Man" thing but I feel I haven't had a hard time with it before. I went to visit a friend who just got into a new house. It's beautiful and has so many fun features about it. Plus it is located in a nice area around other nice houses. She said she loves living in a stable ward. As I left I couldn't help but be jealous of her new situation. I was happy for her but sad at the same time. It may be that Kevin and I are in limbo as we both have decided that moving back east feels like the right thing to do. Then the guilt kicks in as to how blessed I have been and shouldn't complain. Do you guys have these times? Please let me know I'm not alone on this. I'm also wondering if it's also that she only has one child who is in school and all this time to herself. I feel selfish talking about "me time" but I know we are to have more kids so I won't get time to myself for another 10 years (thats a little sarcastic but who knows how long it will be).
7 comments:
Many, many, times! Since you noticed it, it will happen less and less. I get better about it the older I get, but still get weak sometimes. Where you go back East? My sister is getting ready to move back to NC. It makes me want to go too.
Oh Sandra, does the fact that I feel a little better while reading of your struggles answer your question? It sounds horrible, but I feel relieved to hear that other people have struggles. Not that I ever wish sadness or trials on anyone....I just feel less alone in the world. I'm NOT the only one who doesn't know all the answers!
Anyway, who in our lovely Transient Stake wouldn't be envious of a "Stable Ward"?
Also, as for the Me Time, I was still thinking about the other day when you posted the thing about blogging, and why we do it. I think it helps us to preserve our sense of self. Blog time & Me time are synonymous. :)
You are awesome...hang in there girl!
PS-If you ever need time away, I know a mom of 3 Wild Boys who would love to go catch a movie after the kiddos are in bed! :)
Ok Sandra I'm glad you asked. Well it's been hard on Joel and I both. His sister is younger than both of us (she's 20 turning 21 this year) and she's married. NO kids and they live in Shawdow Valley (very rich place in ogden, lives next to doctors and so forth. equal to our bench and cliff side). Well they have all sorts of stuff that fills this 2 dinning rooms, 7 bedrooms, 4bathrooms, 2 livingrooms, the list goes on. They have all this stuff but no gospel. what would you have, all this crap or The FULLNESS of the Gospel? Well i hope it's a no brainier. Well i know it's hard sometimes to think why not me. Well i was reading D&C and it said be rich. Be rich is being rich in the Gospel. Is what it said. But now when i look at his sister and all that crap. they don't get to enjoy the things they have. they work and go to school. They don't even get to see each other. Now i know that i wouldn't change my life for theres. It's been some time now that i wouldn't want what they have. i'm very content with where i'm at in my life now. Just count your blessings and that seems to work. And for the ME TIME. i think that's very important. You need time for a breather for your sake and for your kids sake and don't forget the husband sake as well. just like a half hour to get out of the house and be a girl again. Not much but like 2 times a week. I'm free if you need someone. i'm getting ice cream today if you want i'm leaving at 3ish. it's on me. If you want you can come. just give me a call.
I'm guilty too. And guess what? When I lived in Hanbury Manor with a 12 foot quilting machine in my livingroom, I was jealous of YOUR house--with a room big enough downstairs for a quilting studio, and a garage, and a garden, and a nice fenced yard for the kids.
Now I do have a room just for quilting, and a garden, and 1/2 acre of land, but I have 70's orange countertops and brown shag carpet. It never ends, does it?
I love the line from the Sheryl Crow song that goes: "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got". And that, I believe, is the secret to happiness.
I sure wouldn't trade my problems for others. I've got friends right now who are dealing with cancer in their 21 mos. old, another friend whose husband is deployed to Afghanistan, another friend who will probably end up filing for bankruptcy, another friend who will never be able to get pregnant, and one who "accidentally" got pregnant with number 6 (and her oldest are 7 year old twins) and they live in a 3 bedroom house with no garage or storage space, and now they have to buy a new van (theirs is only a couple years old) to fit their whole family.
I think I'll keep my orange countertops and be grateful that they're my biggest problem. Okay, not really, but you get what I'm saying.
My only comment on the transient ward: I loved my time in that ward...I met wonderful people there and still keep in touch with several of them...but I am very glad to be in my ward now where I have wonderful people AND stability.
I totally understand. While the ward I live in is stable it has been split 3 times since we moved here two years ago and is do for a fourth and hopefully final spilt this fall. I too will be in the baby raising trenches for quite some time and while some days are awful I know I will look back and wonder where the time went.
There are so many good comments here. I completely understand. There are so many times I want to be here or do that, or built 'the' house. Its hard not to be jealous or envious.
Also, apparently I am slacking in my blog stalking because I'm a little late here. :)
I feel this way way too much! It feels like we have been in student mode forever, and grad school will never end. My younger sister just built her second home, and I find myself being envious way too often, while I am cramped in my tiny apartment. Living off of loans. But then I look at my growing family and the grateful gene kicks in.
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